


Idiots of SHIELD

by languageismymistress



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Agents of SHIELD, F/M, Idiots of SHIELD, they try their best and should be rewarded for same
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-03
Updated: 2019-06-07
Packaged: 2020-04-07 00:02:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 3,133
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19073377
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/languageismymistress/pseuds/languageismymistress
Summary: Life as a SHIELD agent has it's moments, they might be poor, but still are moments





	1. Chapter 1

_Go on a double date_ May said,“  Daisy started.

 

” _It will be fine_  Pa said,” Rose Coulson continued.

 

Both didn’t say the last part, the fighting flame boys did that for them with sparks igniting garbage bins and making posh assholes run for cover. 

 

Now if Daisy and Rose were better people, they’d stop their boyfriends from fueling the fight but given that they were fighting some idiots harassing a group of girls?  

 

The pair linked arms and let their boyfriends let off some steam.

 

“You want some ice cream?” Rose asked.

 

Daisy nodded, and both girls walked down the boardwalk towards the ice cream parlor that Phil used to take Rose to when she was younger.

 

The fact that Captain America used to go there was a coincidence, according to Phil and young Rose would roll her eyes and nod along, hoping the sooner he finished talking, the sooner she’d get ice cream. 

 

Holding the door open, Daisy sketched a small bow, both girls laughing at the smiling tall man that greeted them from behind the glass. 

 

Well,  _Daisy_  laughed. Rose wanted to hide. 

 

“Rosie Posie!” he boomed. “I have not seen you since you were little. How are you and how is your Pa?“ 

 

"Good, Mr. A. We’re good." 

 

"Awww Rosie Posie,” a deep voice spoke up. “You didn’t tell me you were popular here?" 

 

Rose didn’t turn around even as the owner of the new voice wrapped their arms around her and kissed the side of her head as if in apology.

 

Mr. A twinkled at the happy couple before him.  "And this is?” He peered at the young man who still held Rose in an embrace.

 

“No one!”

 

“Johnny.“ 

 

Both spoke up at the same time and Mr. A laughed, ordering them to sit so he could bring out an ice cream sampler, on the house. Rose shook her head but smiled. Johnny wrapped an arm around her shoulder and lead her to the booth. 

 

Robbie and Daisy, already seated, were making eyes at each other over the table they’d claimed for the four of them and judging from the dopey grin on Daisy’s face, it was safe to say Robbie was forgiven. 

 

"So you two have fun?” Rose asked.

 

The boys smiled at one another and nodded. 

 

“Taught them never to play with fire–” Johnny began, with a smirk. 

 

“–otherwise you get burned,” Robbie finished.

 

Daisy facepalmed and Rose choked on her water at the grin on both their faces. 

 

_Never trust them on their own._


	2. Poor Baby Jesus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The last time they decided to let Johnny out of the box, he lit two cars on fire, started a brawl and ended up cling wrapped naked to a pole, all in the space of an hour

The plan was to go out and enjoy the day off that Phil had actually given them along with the fact that there was actually sun out in the middle of summer. This was simple enough, sadly for them, they had Johnny tagging along meaning that the hope of surviving a normal day out just went up in smoke. The last time they decided to let Johnny out of the box, he lit two cars on fire, started a brawl and ended up cling wrapped naked to a pole, all in the space of an hour. The events of the night are still hazy to him and are restricted to all Agents.

 

They all, apart from Johnny, agreed that he was to have zero say in the plans and if he tried to lead them astray, he was to go off on his own and none would help if called. Daisy and Ace were in charged and the plan, hopefully, was to show Robbie the sights that he may have missed looking after his brother. The hits on the list included Stark Tower, Empire State Building, Central Park and the museums they could manage before being thrown out. For those, Rose promised to look after Johnny _outside_ of said places.  

 

Clint gave them a drive around to get their bearing before taking to the next sight on the list. In hindsight, this is probably where they should have kicked Johnny into the Hudson.

 

“Behold, the glorious St. Patricks Cathedral.” Johnny tried to do his best jazz hands, hitting Rose in the face by accident.

 

“Last warning, hit one of us again and you will be handcuffed.” Rose glared at him.

 

“That’s not far, you said those handcuffs were for us.” Johnny winked, laughing at Daisy chocking on air.

 

“Right, moving onwards, see, no hitting.” Johnny patted Rose on the back, leading them past the cue and to the side entrance.

 

“What is with the side entrances?” Daisy raised her eyebrow at the priest letting them in.

 

“May helped us out a few years ago, this is our repayment.” The priest smiled, nodding to a silent question from Ace.

 

“Right, and Johnny, no swearing, Clint warned me.” The priest glared at him.

 

“Yes sir.” Johnny saluted, laughing as Daisy pushed him into what can only be described as hell.

 

“Well, it certainly is busy.” Ace shook his head, pulling on the collar of Johnny as he tried, once more, to sneak off.

 

“What? How much trouble can I get into here?” Johnny blinked his eyes, trying to make himself look sweet.

 

“That is a look that should never cross your face.” Robbie shook his head, staring up at, well, everything.

 

“Welcome to Westminster Abbey, also known as, the place where a fuck load of people are buried and is too touristy for comfort.” Ace shook his head at Johnny introduction.

 

“No swearing, remember?” Ace pointed out.

 

“Come on, Robbie needs to experience the hell that is this church.” Daisy linked arms with Rose, glaring at the others to follow.

 

“Ma’am yes, ma’am.” Johnny faked salute, earning a kick from Ace.

 

“Just follow.” Daisy shook her head, making sure that the three of them led the other two.

 

Walking around the Cathedral would have a lot more calm if it weren’t for all tourist and their cameras or crying children or elbows that came out of nowhere. The fact that none of them had pulled out a weapon yet was an amazing thing within itself. The knowledge of Daisy plus the showmanship of Johnny made the visit somewhat entertaining. Robbie and Ace making sure that Rose and Johnny stay away from shooting people or each other, the later becoming harder as Johnny took it upon himself to challenge Rose to a race to the grave of Pierre Toussaint. This is when it started to go downhill, fast. Rose was at least behaving how she was taught, Johnny was acting like a tourist, shoving and elbowing people, and some children, granted, they deserved a slight kick. Moving towards the grave, Johnny magnificently managed to trip over a chord, landing face first near the small crib of baby Jesus that was in the centre, near a candle that fell towards the crib, accidentally setting baby Jesus on fire.

 

Staring at the inflamed Jesus, the other four decided that this was one of the _‘ignore that you know Johnny,’_ moments, heading for the door rather then helping their _friend_ up. Rushing towards the side exit, the priest that let them in decided that _now_ was the perfect time to chat to them. Rose opted to take one for the team, leading the priest in the opposite direction of the fire, giving the others a chance of freedom. Leading the last two boys outside, Daisy pushed them over towards the shadow, a place where they can not be seen, at all. While she waited for the boys to catch their breath, she looked out for Rose and possible Johnny in the meantime. Footsteps echoed closer towards them, Daisy kicked the other two to stop their heavy breathing, using her phone to check to see who was closing in on them, Rose.

 

“Get in here.” Daisy pulled on her shirt, dragging him in next to her and Robbie.

 

“That was close.” Rose breathed out.

 

“Priest?” Robbie coughed.

 

“Taken care of.” Rose winced at how that sounded.

 

“Meaning?” Ace stared at him.

 

“Unaware of fire.” Rose waved him off.

 

“And Johnny?” Daisy shook her head.

 

“Here and present.” Johnny appeared next to Ace.

 

“How?” All four stared at him.

 

“Magic but we should get running.” Johnny pointed to the tourist coming out and some very angry looking priests.

 

“Yup.” Daisy pushed them towards the south side of the Abbey, pushing them behind a bush as he called Clint.

 

“We are at the south side of St Patricks Cathedral, please collect us fast.” Daisy hung up, ignoring the words of Clint.

 

“So now we wait?” Rose looked over to Daisy.

 

“Shush.” Robbie pushed her further into the bush, waving over at one of the priests.

 

“You sir, what are you doing here? This is off limits to commoners.” The angry priest glared.

 

“What is with people like you calling the likes of me commoners with your judging looks and berating remarks?” Robbie made his voice to sound as ‘common’ as possible.

 

“Your accent is my exhibit A.” Angry priest rolled his eyes.

 

“Yeah, too bad you are too high and mighty in your little cloud to see what’s around you?” Robbie smirked.

 

“Meaning?” Angry priest raised his eyebrow.

 

“Her.” Robbie pointed behind the Angry Priest at Daisy.

 

“What?” Angry priest turned around to stare at the fist coming close to his face.

 

“I just punched a priest in the face.” Daisy stared at the unconscious priest on the ground.

 

“Yup, now we run, again.” Robbie grabbed her hand, heading towards the gate at the end of the wall, making sure that others were following.

 

Smiling at the cab with no head light waiting along the path for them, he opened the back door pushing Daisy in as he did. Ace looked over at the pair whilst Rose sat in Johnny’s lap, half asleep from the day’s _activities_. Jumping in last, he slammed the door shut, falling into the seat as Clint slammed his foot down onto the accelerator, the car driving away as the angry priest shook his hand at them, _whoops_.

 

“Why is there a priest shaking his fist at you?” Clint looked into the rear view mirror.

 

“Ask Johnny.”

 

“I did nothing to piss off that priest.” Johnny put his hands up in fake defence.

 

“ _That priest?”_ Clint looked at the rest of them.

 

“Well, he may have _accidentallybeenpunchedintheface_.” Robbie blurted out fast.

 

“Why?” Clint raised his eyebrow.

 

“He insulted Robbie.” Daisy straightened her shoulders.

 

“And the other priests that Johnny pissed off?” Clint remained calm.

 

“There was a fire.” Ace shrugged.

 

“And?” Clint gripped the wheel tighter.

 

“A certain wax figure was possible set on fire.” Ace worded carefully.

 

“Baby Jesus?” Clint side eyed Johnny.

 

“Yeah.” Johnny leant against the door.

 

“Nat did that once, you should have seen the look on poor Steve’s face. Bucky filmed the whole thing whilst Sam sung Burn Baby Burn in the background. It is safe to say, we are now banned.” Clint shook his head.

 

_“What?”_

 


	3. Never Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daisy knew it was a bad idea. She knew it.

Daisy knew it was a bad idea. She knew it. Her gut knew it. Her head and fucking heart knew it. It was a bad idea. All of Johnny’s ideas are bad ideas. But Robbie smiled at her and she was fucking weak to that smile okay. She can’t help it. Plus Rose had agreed to keep an ear on them and promised that under no circumstances would they kill anyone.

 

She should have known better.

 

_The fuckers._

 

Rose was currently hitting her head on the desk.

 

The comms were on the speaker. Daisy could hear it all. They are fuckers. All of them. She is including Rose in this. Sweet innocent looking Rose who helped her agree to this.

 

She heard a loud screech and mumbled _‘fuck’_ over the speaker.

 

“FOR FUCK SAKE REYES! WILL YOU DRIVE STRAIGHT!”

 

That was definitely Johnny.

 

“OH IM SORRY STROM! I DIDNT KNOW YOU WANTED ME TO DRIVE INTO CARS!”

 

Daisy hated that she smiled at the tone in her husbands voice. She was glad it wasn’t aimed at her for once.

 

_“Guuuuuuyyyyyysssss?”_

 

Daisy paled at Rose’s voice.

 

“Babe?”

 

“Mini Phil?”

 

“You got incoming!”

 

Daisy shook her head. The sound of a gun firing rapidly echoed in the quiet foundry. Rose took up hitting her head against the desk once more. Daisy laid on the floor next to her seat.

 

”We are fine!”

 

Rose swore at them in Italian. Daisy agreed with her in Russian. Robbie retorted in Spanish and Johnny said something in French that made Rose blush, hard.

 

”We’re on our way back.”

 

Rose shook her head and Daisy banged her against the floor. Rose killed the comms and left their partners in the dark.

 

"Never again?”

 

Daisy just nodded, both knew it would happen again.

 

Many, many more times.


	4. Friday Night Drinks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Friday night drinks with Daisy were both one of the only good things to come from working at SHIELD

Friday night drinks with Daisy were both one of the only good things to come from working at SHIELD and a mandatory meeting after her incident with the bridge two weeks ago that her father somehow found out about. The bar was crowded and the people were drunk or well on their way to getting there. It was safe for their talks and to blend into the background and fade into the dark. A good thing for an officer of the law. Daisy had beers in hand and Rose was picking at the bread that appeared on their table without either of them ordering a thing.

 

  “So, I noticed you and Johnny are getting close.”

 

  “Same with you and Robbie.”

 

  “We weren’t talking about that, Rose.”

 

  “Same then with Johnny, Daisy.”

 

  Daisy laughed but left it at that.

 

  Rose shook her head and stared at her beer. Daisy made a deal with her, no sad thoughts tonight. None. A thing that Rose seemed to be struggling with, very much. Thoughts of her mother made a tear form in the corner of her eye.

 

  “Hey, none of that.”

 

  Daisy pulled her from those thoughts and back to reality.

 

  “Thanks.”

 

  Rose smiled, a real one.

 

  “It’s what I’m here for, that and the free food.”

 

  “Love you too.”


	5. Tale As Old As Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> His little girl crying on the couch terrified Phil to the core

  Rose crying on the couch scared Phil Coulson. Yes, an agent of SHIELD, man brought back to life, was terrified of his daughter. But in saying that, any person would be scared of a crying 25 year old girl into her third lot of mint chip ice cream.

 

  Her and her ma were too alike at time.

 

  Phil weighed his options. Sneak out and leave or…

 

  “Dad, I know you’re there.”

 

  And there was the Coulson Gene kicking in.

 

  Phil came out of the shadow.

 

  “I’m fine.”

 

  Phil laughed and dodged the flying spoon.

 

  “Do you need someone?“

 

  Phil didn’t deal well with boy problems. His solution is to shoot them.

 

  “No.”

 

  Rose shook her head and tears followed. Phil ignored his run instinct to sit on the floor by her side. Music from the movie filtered into the room. Rose sniffed and Phil smiled.

 

  “Alright Chip, let’s go.”

 

  Phil stood holding his hand out to Rose.

 

  “Chip?”

 

  Rose took it, standing as Phil moved them into a dance stance.

 

  “The ice cream and the character, you may feel broken but trust me, you are one of the strongest people I know.”

 

  Phil danced them around the living room. Music following them. He twirled Rose under his arm and back to him. Hearing her laugh was better than the whole universe itself.


	6. Shake It Off

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daisy couldn't believe it but Johnny Storm managed to beat her once more

Daisy is good. No, scrap that, she is brilliant. Robbie and her Coulsons constantly tell her that. She is a genius who will not let Johnny Storm win. No matter how much he annoys her, he will not get under her skin.

 

It was a low blow. She knew it. But desperate times called for desperate measures.

 

This she would win.

 

Should win.

_Could win?_

 

It’s Johnny so who the frick knows what he would do.

 

Anything is possible with that man.

 

Listening to Johnny talk about his visuals, with Rose timing in at the appropriate, and once inappropriate, moments, Daisy waited for the precise moment.

 

The moment to strike.

 

“Are you sure?"

 

"People have to stop asking me that.”

 

Johnny laughed and Daisy hit play.

_“I stay out too late, got nothin’ in my brain”_

 

Daisy smirked at her victory.

 

_“That’s what people say, mmm hmm,”_

 

A smirk that soon turned to a frown.

 

_“that’s what people say, mmm hmm”_

 

Johnny Storm started to sing along.

 

_“I go on too many dates, but I can’t make ‘em stay”_

 

Daisy hoped she was hallucinating the whole event. Okay, she didn’t cause this was too good. So good it couldn’t be true but given the look on Robbie’s face and Rose dancing to the music, it was definitely true and definitely happening.

 

_“Cause Torch gonna slay, flay, flay, flay, flay.”_

 

Daisy laughed. Rose sung along and Robbie looked like he was planning out a proposal.

 

Fine then.

 

_Daisy: 0_

_Johnny: 1_


	7. They will be fine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fury wants to start a meeting but is waiting for a few more agents to appear

****

For Phil to call an “All Agents yes that includes you Clinton” meeting is bad enough, for Fury to come back from the dead and call an “All Agents, yes that includes you Natalia” meeting, shit will be hitting the fan.

 

Rose sat, lounged, over three seats on the four seater couch. Bobbi chilled at the end with Hunter sitting on the floor, cleaning his gun. The ‘baby’ recruits came in. Daisy claimed her seat on Rose’s stomach with Robbie laughing at his girlfriend’s antics. Rose did not. Daisy just patted her on the head and waited for the others. Jemma and Fitz came and sat in their designated chairs by the window and then nothing.

 

Daisy looked to Rose.

 

Rose looked to Bobbi.

 

Bobbi kicked Hunter.

 

Hunter shrugged at Robbie.

 

Robbie shook his head at Daisy.

 

Daisy sighed as Fury started the meeting.

 

“First, where is my son?”

 

That one was aimed at Rose. It was always aimed at Rose. She didn’t know why, it’s not like she had him Geo-Tagged.

 

“Probably asleep.”

 

“And Ace?”  


“Probably next to your son, asleep.”

 

“Clint?”

 

“Probably in a dumpster.”

 

“Storm.”

 

“Probably asleep next to Clint in the dumpster.”

 

“And Natalia.”

 

“Probably looking for Johnny who is asleep in a dumpster next to Clint.”

 

Fury ran a hand over his face.

 

“You aren’t worried because?”

 

“Ace and Eo are tired after the mission last night hence the reason they are asleep, they are in the room though, just behind the couch-.” she stopped as Daisy looked over the couch and nodded to confirm. “And who would want to kidnap Clint and Johnny?”

 

Fury didn’t have an answer for that one.

 

“Plus no one would want to get in Nat’s way so they will be found, shot and brought in here for questioning.”

 

Fury looked like he didn’t like the sound of that but said nothing.

 

Phil looked at his daughter in shock.

 

Daisy laughed at her shrug.

 

“Right, so, the meeting?”<


End file.
